Growing Up

Okay.

So now basically, my heartbeat's gonna now be like the frenzied beating of the drum as these 15 days pass by, one after the other.

No more :

1)laughing for small things like a donkey.

2)acting childish around anyone.

3) fooling around. In any aspect.

Now every day :

1)is going to be a wake up call.

2)my nose will be rubbed on the ground,till I have given my all.

Yes, I will be 18 in just 15 days.

But things, will they ever be the same, though I want it to?

Well, yeah, I'm waiting.

But I don't want to grow up.

As said by Liv Tyler, " I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too. "

:(

Growing up.

The words often heard of, but yet, take time to sink in.

It doesn't really happen when you get older.

It happens though, when you've learnt about the bitchy nature of the world.

It happens, when you finally learn to survive without people whom you never wanted to leave, but end up leaving you.

It happens, when you realise that strong friendship is not determined by how long you know him/her, but how long have you been close to him/her.

It happens , when you realise that change does not define you really are. It just shows what you're losing out at.

The thought of growing up irritates you. You miss your childhood more than you imagined.

But if your childhood has been bad, then you choose ways to make life worth living, often harming your health.

But , there are certain people in your life, through your path of growing up, who have made your day.

And without them, life's just an empty book with pages yet to be filled.

And with their love for me in mind, I grow up.

I decide to move on, but still live my life 'cause of them.

After all, love is what keeps us alive!

And with that thought,

16th December, 2012, its time to give me the grandest party of a lifetime! :D

I guess I HAD to pour my heart out! :')

I want people who don't like me AT ALL,

to know that there was once upon a time,

where I tried changing myself,

so as to please you people .

But then, here goes a saying,

" the whole world's a cunning fox. "

I mean its been years since,

I've met people,

who call me at one point of time,

when they need me the MOST,

and in the next point of time,

starts stabbing my back ,

and keeping bets about ME,

for no rhyme or reason.

If you don't like me, just tell it to my face.

God has made me stronger each year,

so as to face moments like these.

And I want to thank Him and those people,

who TRULY love me and trust me,

for being there when I needed people.

Love you all!

So here goes a conclusion,

if there are any problems in me,

go ahead, tell me ,

I can change those things in me.

But don't you DARE, comment on me, BEHIND MY BACK!

Its as if you're perfect and I'm imperfect.

Face it, everyone's imperfect.

So just live your own lives and let me live my life in peace.

PLEASE! :|

God bless you all! :)

xx

What is this? I do not know!

                     This seems strange.Does seem more special than the way it is portrayed in the movies though.This time, I've not forced myself to feel for him..This just happened. His happiness is becoming my happiness; his sadness , my sadness. My heart's telling me to go steady with him. Heart's wanting me not to wait for anyone else but for him.

                     
                      I've never felt this way before.With anyone.Not even with my exes. He looks decent, but when I look at him, eyes to eyes, I just, never .. Argh, I've never been in a loss of words like now.I'm blushing everywhere. Even while I'm studying.
                    
                      I become crazier than I used to be, whenever I'm around him.Every moment seems complete when he's in my mind. Every bad feeling vanishes when he's with me.I don't want to get over him..

                      What is this? I do not know! THIS, is not infatuation for sure! THIS, is something deep. Something which can't be described. I wait for him wherever I go. I feel bad when I see him with someone else. I would love to sacrifice things for him..

                       Dang, is this love? 

For people , who ask girls after their recent break-up , " Who's the next person?"

A woman of bad character is not defined by the number of boyfriends she's had. She's defined as a person who sleeps with people and get paid in return.

You narrow minded people will never learn. Never ever.


Think whatever you think. But what about you?


God's standards are pretty high when these issues are concerned. Its like if you even look at a woman with lustful eyes, you've already slept with her. Mentally, that means. So, I may have had many  boyfriends, but you already have slept with many girls by looking at them lustfully. So, you and I are equal in this case! Haha!

Now, rumours have been spread that I've slept with many people, just 'cause I refuse to sleep with them. Why do you only believe them? Why can't you look at the other side?


Besides, now that I'm single, since you've asked me who's the next person, I shall answer, the next person is ME! 'Cause I have never ever loved myself and now is the chance to do so!

SO , hope you've got your answer.

Relationships

                  They make you undergo a roller-coaster ride of emotions. A plethora of them.They test whether you can be trusted or not. Some fail miserably and some become stronger with the passage of time. Yes,  I'm talking about relationships. But not just romantic ones. Even the strongest of friendships can break easily, due to some reason or no reason at all.

                  My good friend who despises seeing depressing stuff over her Facebook page, including my "sometimes" love sick posts, while talking it out with me, quoted Oscar Wilde  , "Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about. " It's not that she was being harsh or something. In fact, she was saying the right thing. I had realised that while I was introspecting myself and about my life.

                  But, at this period of life, i.e , the teenage period, for us , actually most of us, we have the tendency not to differentiate among  like , crush, infatuation, lust  and love. We misunderstand the friendships we share with the opposite sex as we think they finally care for us in THAT sense, as we're always blinded by the world of fantasy.

                  I don't only mean Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy and so on. Since childhood, we've been a victim of fantasy by believing that one day, our Prince Charming will come on a white horse and saves us , the damsels in distress, from our world of suffering. Or, by believing, that our Dream Girl will come in a beautiful gown and will turn us diffident boys into valiant men. And , by believing that with our partner, we'll live happily ever after. The End.

                  Well, I shall share some parts of my life to you readers. Till now, I've had 8 failed romantic relationships , 3 of which are rebound types, like you know, dating that person so as to get over my ex, and the other 5, actual serious ones. I'm dating my ninth boyfriend right now. People seeing this will automatically be judgmental, won't they? They'll think that I've dumped them , reason being that they don't satisfy my desires, sexual or anything else for that matter. The world doesn't see the other way round. When I needed them, they showed me the middle finger.They in turn, spoiled my reputation telling other people that I'd proposed to them, but the truth was actually the other way round. They needed me for my body. They did love me, but its their parents who spoilt the relationship! My parents did not mind me having a relationship at all. Such kind of people don't have a proper spine in their back to go through the trials and tribulations of a relationship, and in turn, fail to support the girl/guy they are in a relationship with. But finally, I'd found someone who actually can fight for me and love me the way I am. And I'll feel bad if I don't give my all to him.

                  With all the lessons I'd learnt in the previous relationships, it was hard getting over people , it was hard letting go of them. But when time passes by, your mind, subconsciously lets go of the pain you'd suffered in relationships and help you move on well. :) But some people like  to brood over their past , and thus the lovesick , forlorn posts on Facebook. People,grow up. 

                  Those who are single, enjoy the most of it, while making sure  that your Dream Girl or Prince Charming is waiting for you, you save yourself for her or him. Those who are a couple now, all the best for your relationship and do make sure that you're loyal to each other. Those who don't believe in love,you may not realise it, but you ARE in love already. With life, with your family, with your friends, and with yourself. Those who've just broken up, I'm sorry for the loss, but attempting to commit suicide doesn't help. I've not tried, yet I've dreamt about it. So I know the feeling. Time and God, without your knowledge, will heal the pain in you soon. :)

                Since the topic regarding romantic relationships was so long, I'll write about the relationships with friends in my next post, so that I don't bore you too much here! :D :P

                But I do like to conclude by saying, once you  think about your past, that'll become a parasite, sucking the life out of you, but once you get over it, and work towards making your present better than your past, the past will just be nothing but a memory. :)

You don't get life a second time!

    Charles Darwin’s “Survival of the Fittest” theory, I don’t know how, but, finds its applications EVERYWHERE! And I mean, EVERYWHERE! :P

      For example, if it had been announced, that your school gates will close by 0735, and you reach school by 0732, you see the children rushing to the gate like swarms of bees colliding with each other and then you manage to go through the gate! You survive! At the cost of unfortunately, leaving your friends behind.

       You want to go back to bring them to school with you. Sadly, this is how the world runs. Even a naïve person finds himself trampled in this world of competition, leaving him far behind.

But this is the other side of the world. These thoughts come across your mind momentarily and with the speed of light. But when you look what’s ahead of you, your perplexed look disappears with the appearance of a smile on your face, when you see your classmates in front of you, who with their backstabbing, hating, loving, fighting, teasing, tickling, pinching , punching, chatting, texting, abusing, etc, have become a part of your teenage life. The last year of your school life!

That’s what makes adolescence special!

      Who knew that you would be able to chat with a celebrity you’ve adored for long? Who thought that you’ll finally get the dream partner everyone wanted? Who knew they’ll be loved after years of being hated? I did not, at least not in my wildest dreams! :P

       Crushes, relationships, breakups , makeups, fights, misunderstandings, WhatsApp, BlackBerry Messenger, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, childhood stuff, humiliation, ego, depression, anger, tears, smiles, and so on, are normal for everyone, but, when they come together, that with a lot of unity and memories, form a perfect teenage life. In this last year of school life, we have no other option but to enjoy life to its maximum and not brood over the mistakes we made before. But, we should also make a mark in life when it comes to career and move on, so that when time comes, we’ll at least be satisfied that our life’s going well.

     I wonder what life offers me ahead. But till then, I want to do everything I can. ‘Cause you know what? You don't get life a second time!